This is the feedback my professor gave me and i need my essay to be fix before i submit it.
You are certainly off to a good start with the rough draft! I can identify the claim and how it has been supported throughout, just be sure to review my comments regarding the introduction, body paragraph formatting/development, and conclusion. Within brief essays such as this one, it is a good idea to adhere to five-paragraph essay format and expand upon the paragraphs as necessary: introduction, three body paragraphs (one per supporting point that develops the claim/thesis,), and a conclusion. Also, in general, a paragraph should consist of six sentences to avoid being underdeveloped, and review page formatting carefully since MLA/APA is not adhered to. And, review the thesis and topic sentence comments to maintain further cohesion throughout. It is also a good idea to avoid using first and second person in academic writing, so edit carefully. Keep in mind that the tutors at the Writing Center are great resources, and I highly recommend them as you begin entering the revision and editing stages of the writing process. If you would like further feedback on anything, please feel free to email me directly since I am always happy to help.
I need my essay to be APA format please.
I’m inclosing the essay and in read is what the professor said is wrong
